I was quite shy as a little girl, and that certainly didn’t change as I got older. I could easily spend hours upon hours in my room playing “pretend” in the company of my dolls and teddy bears. As an adult, I preferred a movie outing alone rather than dinner with friends. 
What did change as I matured was my ability to cope and socialize in small to large groups. But I always thought I was an odd ball because I wasn’t as outgoing as other people appeared to be, and I struggled to talk about myself and other things in social settings. In fact, I think my shyness and natural inclination to be introverted led to my decision to become a journalist; I didn’t necessarily have to do the talking, just ask good questions. In that regard, I would consider myself a great listener. And for that reason, I’ve learned to ask questions that go well beyond skimming the surface, which is a necessary journalistic skill.
Which brings me to today’s topic: What are the benefits of being shy or introverted?
The Feb. 6, 2012 edition of TIME magazine highlights the topic in a featured article entitled The Upside of Being an Introvert (And Why Extroverts Are Overrated), written by Bryan Walsh. I have to tell you. It brought me much solace to know that so many prominent individuals are considered introverts, which means I’m in good company. Among those profiled in the article: Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Mother Teresa, and Moses are included.
But what about those benefits I referred to earlier? Walsh writes:
Introverts may be able to fit all their friends in a phone booth, but those relationships tend to be deep and rewarding. Introverts are more cautious and deliberate than extroverts, but that means they tend to think things through more thoroughly, which means they can often make smarter decisions. Introverts are better at listening — which, after all, is easier to do if you’re not talking– and that in turn can make them better business leaders, especially if their employees feel empowered to act on their own initiative. And simply by virtue of their ability to sit still and focus, introverts find it easier to spend long periods in solitary work, which turns out to be the best way to come up with a fresh idea or master a skill.
Before giving birth to my daughter three years ago, I worked in two workplaces (at different times) after graduating from college. But after deciding to leave my job to become a stay-at-home mom full-time, I realized something critical about myself. And, that is, I don’t care for offices very much. I don’t need the buzz of a newsroom to motivate my writing. The water cooler chatter does not entice me. And round table meetings are extremely stressful for my types.
Could I get through it? Sure. Did I learn to “fake it, till you make it?” Absolutely. But it was, honestly, grueling. I ended up having high blood pressure, and my anxiety and stress levels were through the roof. Does this mean that I’ll never again work in a traditional office? Not necessarily. But as long as I’m in a position to work from the comfort of my home or in the field — in solitude — that’s where you’ll find me, thank you very much.
In contrast, for comparison purposes, Walsh defines extroverts as those who find “large crowds and social situations energizing, becomes bored easily when alone.”
The fact is, however, as Walsh points out, we live in an “extrovert’s world.” And he suggests that even though your inborn personality is introversion, it shouldn’t limit your abilities.
He concludes, “[W]hile our temperaments may define us, that doesn’t mean we’re controlled by them — if we can find something or someone that motivates us to push beyond the boundaries of our nerves.”
About Emily Brown
